## Metadata - Author: [[neel-nanda|Neel Nanda]] - Full Title:: Post 43: Intentionally Making Close Friends - Category:: #🗞️Articles - URL:: https://www.neelnanda.io/blog/43-making-friends - Read date:: [[2025-04-12]] ## Highlights > It’s easy to slip into a passive mindset here, to think of emotional connections as ‘something that take time’ or ‘need to happen naturally’. That to be intentional about things is ‘inauthentic’. I think this mindset is absolutely crazy. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jrn81cfdw995ajchq0e82jth)) > Most social norms optimise for conversations that feel safe, not ones that feel exciting, so I need to do something differently! ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jrn838f61j68wa9536pmb5m5)) > **Warning:** these tactics sometimes get the other person to monologue - I am fine with this, and most people enjoy talking to an engaged audience, but some people feel bad at one-sided conversations. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jrn84vtjc3xaea5fj79ds1n9)) ## New highlights added [[2025-04-13]] > My main approach is to create a space in which it feels safe to be vulnerable, but try to avoid creating obligations. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jrpxshm07m3p0787s9s14ecv)) > I prefer to express lots of small vulnerabilities throughout the conversation rather than sharing something major and making it feel like a big deal ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jrpxst7kf95bj24g1j30swpp))