## Metadata - Author: [[Henrik Karlsson]] - Full Title:: Looking for Alice - Category:: #🗞️Articles - URL:: https://www.henrikkarlsson.xyz/p/looking-for-alice - Read date:: [[2026-06-21]] ## Highlights > The first thing to realize is that, unless you have found one, you don’t actually know what an Alice is. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01kvmgwtp5mx6zw6rzcjg3xfad)) > show the inside of your head in public, so people can see if they would like to live in there. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01kvmh3djh6zd6sgs8phr4qgcd)) > There is a trope in romance that when you meet the person you are supposed to be with, you can talk about anything. You can apparently inverse that too: if you talk about anything that pops into your mind, you can tell if you're supposed to be with the person by judging their reaction. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01kvmh5dp52q7pt4k1pkche0aq)) > But I do think it is a good idea, generally, and one that I have used—to speedrun relationships by jumping directly to the strange parts. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01kvmh69xfdq1b3wc24azst2z9)) > If you want to prompt someone to be authentic and playful and generative, you usually just need to ask them something where they have a rich experience to pull from *but have never pulled an answer from that experience before*. If you ask two or three increasingly detailed questions about something they tell you, you get there. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01kvmh98ej1a992qy7qthb74tx)) > In my experience, great relationships are harder to compress into a sensible string of words. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01kvmhamyj365r9r2hcxs1rjmm)) > the problem is this: we are social creatures. If people look at you with a confused, or even worried, expression when you tell them about your lover, you will likely feel bad. If they start giggling and act all excited about your luck, on the other hand, you will feel a surge of affection toward your date. This will tilt the playing field against incomprehensible, singular, and deeply personal relationships. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01kvmhbbbxfgttzyh1p972pn5h))